Autumn: As a Tree, Let the Leaves of Old, Fall From You.

Yesterday I posted a reel on IG, complete with koshi chimes, as I gave voice to something which came through me earlier in the day. To clarify, it's one of those moments where one rushes for a piece of paper and a pen, otherwise losing that which is landing. 

What I received and shared:

Greetings of a new season, 

Autumn is upon us, and

As our trees, have no qualms about their falling leaves, 

So too are we asked to allow 

That which is old

To fall from us. 

Return to your heart, again and again, 

From within which comes a sound, 

- A beautiful song-

I AM THAT I AM.

A song which transmutes the old, 

Giving way to the New. 

Giving way to the All. 

Blessed be Beautiful Soul. 

~~~

It seems I set myself up quite well. 

I will describe in as much detail that I can, how to allow the "old to fall from us, like a mighty oak tree. 

Truly, it took all my might and all my strength, and all my will, to not give in to adversarial forces - things which cause us to go from a state of love into a state of fear-.  Note that fear is the umbrella term for all that feels discordant to / for us.  For me, the agitation actually commenced last night. 

Having walked through the door, which you must know is actually a portal in disguise, I can share now. By "portal in disguise," what I wish to say is; those things that seem unsavory and discordant are there set up by us, for us, to walk through, head held high, without repercussion. The old adversary, who is now gone, mentioned in previous (ascension) posts, has no sway over us any more. It wasn't always "ah you, it's just in your head, get over it!", but now, the only thing stopping us from spiraling upwards and forward, is our rememberance of the old, and our old ways of thought. 

Quite literally, we are being asked to let go of the habit of being our old self, which was programed to believe that it was "born a sinner and brought forth in iniquity..." Yes, and no. (The fall from grace, after being led into temptation is also in ascenion posts).  In any case, present momently, that has been "corrected," by the might and will of many working together, yourself included, (whether or not you are aware).  

We've already spent lifetimes preparing for this greatest shift. So, to get out of discord in our time space, has never been easier - which isn't to say that what I walked through this morning was easy! 

3am- the Call to get up. (I had no idea the time, and thought it close to 5am when I would rise). 

Making the connection with my Higher Self, and Soul - I was wide awake and heeded the Call - I was to get out of bed. After some mantras, and breathing into my spine (imagining my in-breath at the base of my spine, moving upwards slowly, and breathing out once at the crown of my head), I got up as quietly as possible, realizing the hour (literally 2:59am which I decided to check).

Getting up, I went into the atelier to write.  Usually I write in dark, as the my art space is located at the front of the house, with lamp-post just in front. I perched on one of our red velvet arm chairs, and position myself so that I have that light to write. 

Fire felt right, and wouldn't you know,  I just received a new candle, (we were entirely out), trading with a dear sister over the weekend at a market we both did. She, who made it by her love.  

I lit it, and began- and believe you me, despite the connection I'd made earlier (Higher Self/Soul, mantras), I was still feeling onry!  I share that because it is of great importance: I was being called to my altar. 

I "fell into" writing to my personality selves which felt most prominent in the dischord I was experiencing. 

There was the self that "thinks too much,"

as well as, the self which is "full of doubt."

"Guilt," too, was present. 

As already mentioned, all of the above fall under the umbrella of fear.

I wrote to each of them, as they surfaced, in the dark and stillness. 

I asked them why they felt as they did, thanked them, and then tasked them with something that would help me, like  instead of feeling guilt, can you just observe the situation and see what happens if you don't?  And then let me know somehow through your observation, that we got it...? 

On an aside, believe me, I know it sounds bizarre, but it works - kindness always works. 

I share this with you rather vulnerably, though intentionally:

I was actually feeling guilty for getting out of bed.  Benjamin had been such a darling last night, reiterating "if there's anything you wish to say to me, please do!"  When he'd returned home from work, as we embraced, I asked him to "pardon my moodiness."  He asked why, and I simply said, "I don't know, just is..."

Had I taken the bait (not set by him, rather by the energy that still exists in the world - despite the adversary being gone (it's "children," are still around and kicking, as seen in what seems to be a world of chaos at present), there was potential to spill onto Ben, what was not his to receive in those moments. Thought there was something genuine, I wish to converse about with him, in that moment, with that energy swirling around, I held back.  

We don't "fight," we give each other ample space to resolve what is in mind. Most often it is done without the other ever knowing of the dischordant thing.   I generally express my relief to Benjamin. I always thank him for his patience with me, whilst I was walking through the portal, and we fall into deep love all over again.

After much "practice," (a handful of strong relationships), one comes to realize that the dischord one feels, is actually a solo job. 

Carrying on...

​I wrote for a while, and released some tears of relief at the end. Asking those traits of self to cooperate with you, is as masterful as talking someone off a ledge, tears on both sides of relief. 

​Finishing writing, and not wanting to give in to going back to bed (again, guilt), I simply stared at the flame, doing a mantra for protection:

​AUM ,

Aim Kleem Saum (each word repeated 3x, before going to next),

followed by the Gayatri mantra. 

I did that for a while before seeing what the "nowmeter" was reporting; 4:44am - go figure ; )

Ok, let's go for a walk. Simple. 

But goodness, did the personality selves ever kick in!  As quietly as possible, knowing that Ben would be up in about 15mins, I rested them all, and was out the door, til about 5:30am, in the dark, in the still and quietness of the yet to dawn day.

​Upon arriving home, I knew he was awake, doing his morning reading/writing. Normally, I would have gone into the bedroom, climbed up on him like a child, and we'd have embraced deeply, whilst greeting one another to the new day. 

It took all of me not to, as it wouldn't have been authentic, and simply. me acting. 

By the time he got up, I was finishing up my second round of writing. I knew he could feel me, as I, him, and this shift. My shift.  We waved to one another, me from the front room, as he was going into the loo.  We did greet each other in words, but shortly. Guilt came again, and I implored it to observe, as per our morning deal. Observe and trust. 

After he was done, he arrived to where I was, in the kitchen, setting water to boil, before commencing QiGong, leading me into breath work and meditation. I had already been outside barefoot, to my sprial rock formation of 144 stones, saying an invocation for all life, and our Earth Mother.  I greeted Her, and then back upstairs I went.

Meeting Benjamin in the kitchen, all had come to pass.  We embraced deeply, and loved one another so much, as we offered greetings of a new day. 

Fooled was I thought, as all had not come to pass, however. There yet remained the last vestige of agitation....

The rest of my morning routine done, and I went to shower.  Agitation lingered. 

In making myself up, something shifted, something big. 

Ideas came, things not yet sharable, but my goodly God, when they came, I thought, "why didn't I think of that before?!"

All gone. 

And there it was- the last vestige was breeched, and transmuted entirely.  Present momently, Benjamin is unawares of any of this. I'll share it later, though I profess to you, my heart is so light, so lifted, and I look forward to relayng it to him .

Ah, yes...A confession for you, though I didn't act upon it, in the wee hours of this morning, whence in the state of great dischord, I thought to myself, "I wonder when the nearest Tim Horton's opens - so I could grab a coffee and cookies. That was the self that wanted to simply fill the void, like I used to in the past.

The nowmeter says 10:55am, and I am complete, in this here writing, starting sometime around 9ish (I think?!).  I share that just to reiterate the word "easy."   

Earlier I'd said that getting out of dischord "has never been easier." You see, it took me roughly 6 hours of inward reflection, stillness, conversation, diplomacy, trust.." What we can do in hours now, used to take lifetimes. 

So you see, dear beautiful tree of life, let the leaves fall, release your burdens, and become more and more free, truly free. This is a practice, one which can be, and asks to be mastered. You are THAT, dear Master.

I LOVE YOU, and hope that my intention of serving you, has, with at least one trick from up my sleeve.

xxM

PS: a rememberance - something which offered great agitation to me this morning, was resolved, without a peep from me. 

An offering by my Darlingest Benjamin, for his Queen. 

#nojudgement #unconditionallove #love #themiddlepath #Autumm #Treeoflife